Happy day!!!

Okay so Jordon was baptized today, how could I keep from crying... couple of reasons why! One, I am just proud of the person he is TRYING to be. Second, simply He is growing up and that is hard. I miss the mommies, but I guess I should be glad I get to hear the yells mom when I walk in from work. He is actually a really good kid. Just a little over zealous, I shouldnt complain about that one to much. He seems happy and well adjusted for having such a crazy mom! I am just glad he knows I love him so much! But I am proud of him. His spirital growth and the decision to join Civil Air Patrol. It is so up his alley, but will tell more about that another time.

fall and other stuff

It has been a long long time since I have posted! Life has gotten so busy... 2nd job, quizzing, the edge and every thing else. Well I can say I really enjoy the things I am involved in! I love church and serving the Lord. I always seemed to see blessings so much more after being there. It is fall and I love the colors and even love most of the cold weather because you get to snuggle in the warm clothes. Not everything is perfect, but still see the blessings. My sugar is up a bit just means I have to eat a bit healthier, I just had one toenail done and still have to have the other one done and there is some infection but still once it is done I am sure I will feel so much better. Jordon is doing REALLY good in school so that is where things stand right now is sure there will be more soon. Upwards is starting soon, I am going to try to coach again, but will see how that goes.

week off

okay so i am off work for a week!!! wooohooo!!! and really excited. let see what else oh yea i am just relaxing this week wont be on the computer or anything NO THINKING FOR ME THIS WEEK! okay yea will be thinking of taking care of the boy and having a relaxing week but that would be it! will write about the rest when i get home

mid week is it over yet???

Not really just been busy so far and I am enjoying it! So far this week been dealing with a really bad sunburn. Yea I know sunscreen but the didnt know i was actually getting sun until after the fact. Had lots of meetings about childerns ministery but I actually enjoy those. Why? i have not a clue but I really do. I had my first lesson in TGIF... I think it well, I am not sure what the kids thought but I thought it went okay. I am pretty excited in the growth stuff I have going on. Now if I just could get back to working out after work, and lose more weight. HEH. Okay one thing at a time. I am working on the inside then will continue to work on the outside. sounds good to me...

New Adventure

wow i sure have let time get away without writing. I am starting a new adventure, and would love some feed back! I have agreed to take on the preteens at our church. The wonderful 5th and 6th graders. I am sure this is going to be a challenge but I am sure I will learn LOADS and hopefully teach them something along the way...I am excited and cant wait to start. Right now I am gathering information on what to teach the kids. SOOOOOO if anyone has any ideas let me know! I would be forever grateful!

daring to dream

Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all.

Okay, the last couple of months have found me soul searching, learning, and being strong. I have many trials and many test. Some I have passed where others I have failed. With each one I have learned and I have grown or groan what have you. *GRINS* I thought at one point I had lost my dream, lost my goal. I thought I had lost everything I have been working for the last three years. I kept praying and hoping for the best and I knew that to wait on God. Because He would guide me in the direction I was to go.

You see some of the things I failed at was one being supportive and understanding to one person that deserves that from me. Many of times He has been my support and my rock when I needed it most. I failed at hiding my problems or concerns and not addressing them the way I should. Instead I threw accusations and harbored ill feelings towards many. I was angry and i needed to vent. I wanted to strike out and let someone other than me feel the way I did.

But I was able to pass alot more. Learing and growing from struggles and being scared. Finding the blessings in situations I would normally hate. I was able to stand tall and get threw something that I didnt think I could make it threw. I was able to look deep inside myself and find why I had been working towards a perticular dream. Have I got there? No but i am sure i will in the long run. I still want that dream It hasnt become a nightmare after all it is what I want that dream more now than ever. And that dream is perfect for me. You see, more than most I have a very bad habit of being opptomistic and persistant. Those are scary combinations. I will do anything to achieve my dreams and always see the postive in my dreams.

So for today I am simply saying dont be afraid to dream and I dare You to dream. You never know what you can achieve in the course of seeing yourself doing something great, or achieving something you have always longed for.


If you can imagine it you can create it. If you can dream it, you can become it.
Ward, William Arthur

Easter...

Easter this year was awesome!!! I had to teach the childerns but it was ALOT of fun. One of the songs we did was Everyday! I love doing it with the kids but it always leaves me completely out of breath. Then we talked about the Easter Lily and the Stone that was rolled away! The Easter Lily stood for the new life we have because of Jesus on the cross.

Then we went to my grandmaw's for the family Easter egg hunt and dinner. I love family get togethers and I actually got to hunt eggs this year for my younger cousin cause he wasnt able to be there. Then came home and just relaxed with my Dad and Mom. It was nice and peaceful. I am just glad the blessings I have in my life I truely am. I can thank God and His Son everyday for even the small things. but i guess that is all for now want to get some sleep this week will be busy with the HOLY MOSES this weekend! I cant wait okay maybe I can.

quizzing, life and so much more

The quizzing team had the quiz meet this week. I really found the perfect verse for me this week. With so much going on in my family's life and all around me. With the fustrations of the economy which scares even me. I keep hearing a verse over and over again.

"The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." Exodus 14:14.


I am not pushing or trying to move people just know that in times of trouble or when people or situations are comming at you just keep remembering that verse. So right now I am being still. I dont know if my life is truely going well or is it just that I am seeing every blessing in every situation. Even when times are tough and I think how will I get through this. The Lord is always there. When I dont know how to comfort my family or what to say, God is there! That in itself is truely a blessing!

fustrations....

Just a bit of fustrations going on lately... I really enjoyed the service this morning at church. One of the things that really got me was being uplifting instead of always being down on people. As humans we tend to see the worst in people yet finding the blessings sometimes get a little hard to find. The upbeatness of people in the morning when you really didnt want to get out of bed. People that take their time in their decisions and when people dont agree with your decisions.

I am one of those that tend to give 100 percent at everything I do, especially work. I think that was my dad pounding it into my head. I have a hard time when I see others not doing the same. I am a early person and it fusterates me when others are late. I am a night owl and hate early mornings. So people oposite of me tend to grate on my nerves especially in the morning.

I am harsh on my son, when it comes to grades and responsiblities. He is so layed back and easy going. He is a really take your time and not rush type of person and in the mornings I have a really hard time with that. OKAY it drives me NUTS!!!

So where is this going? This week I am really going to try to relax a bit and go a bit more with the flow. See the beauty in others and just enjoy being around them. See the positives and focus on those. Maybe by doing that it can rub off on others.

Today sermon made me take a closer look on some of my faults and hopefully I can improve on those.

all work and no play

Yep that about sums it up right now...but I know it will pay off! I just have to keep thinking that. Still makes for a very tired person. Thats okay I just keep thinking of sun sand and disney world. We got our tickets today!!!! they are little credit cards!!! I thought that was so awesome! Jordon is so excited.

Next weekend is the next quiz meet! Can't wait till that is over then it is smooth sailing. wont have to worry about if he has qualified, even if he doesnt I am so proud of him. He is such a good kid. He really understands mom having to work.

but I am quickly heading to bed to tried to write alot. Maybe tomorrow night or sunday!

busy busy busy

Seems like forever since I had a chance to post! Working ALOT of extra hours for the next couple of months. I would like to get some of my bills paid off before Jordon and I go on vacation. The weekend was crazy but if it wasnt I would be wondering why.

Jordon saw his Father for the first time in almost two years. Jordon was happy, I think I was more happy that Jordon almost puked on his feet. Okay not really! I am really glad he got to see his dad. As hard as it is for me to forgive him for what he has put Jordon through. It just amazing how resilent children are. I am proud of Jordon he was very polite and very well behave... until he had an allergy attack! He started coughing until he threw up. Poor Kid... but he was happy to see him.

Other than that it was a normal weekend. Church and quizzing. Tonight we just hung out did homework ate dinner and watch some t.v. we did go over some quizzing and he didnt miss any. I think he is ready for the next quiz meet. Just dont know if I am. LAUGHS!

40 days of prayer

Our church is starting a 40 days of prayer... Which is pretty cool. I was kinda nervous about it I have a hard time keeping up with stuff like that, but my son and I agreed to do it together... One of the things is fasting.

Now I can't fast like others, the whole diabetic thing ya know... or I would be doing a lot of fasting! Soooo, I am doing the spending fast meaning I will not buy anything that isn't necessary for the next 40 days. The only thing I will be purchasing is the airfare and hotel stuff for the world quiz so I don't think that counts. That I have to get ASAP! So all I am supposed to buy is groceries, gas, and gifts. Now don't be asking for gifts I don't have the money for that. LAUGHS... But I am excited about it. Just to see how it turns out.

Here is the funny thing, my son about had heart failure when I said we were going to fast. He looks at me and goes, "mom, I have to eat, I am already to skinny." So we had a long talk about fasting. His favorite thing to snack on at night is chip ahoy cookies, and a glass of milk. So he decided to give up those and any candy for the next 40 days. Along with us praying and studying for bible quizzing. I think it is pretty cool. I kinda liked the idea, plus will help us with the night time prayers.

So that is where we are at right now, and I am heading to bed because I can hardly keep my eyes open,

bittersweet

Tonight was my last practice with my 4th and 3rd grade boys basketball. It was alot of fun we had the boys play against their Dads. The problem is Jordon's dad has never been there, the solution... My cousin Craig stepped in. What a job he did. I am not sure who had more fun the boys or their dads. I know it is something they will never forget. Really hit home this is what we were doing. Giving these boys positive memories. Something they will take with them even when they get older.

I will miss these boys more than I thought possible. Each one taught me something and each one is something special. Going through my list...

Alex... quite and reserve but once you get him going he doesnt stop and once he smiles he just melts your heart.

Brennon... my comedian always there to make me smile even when it was a joke on me.

Kevin...my challenge...always truthfull in he feelings even when they werent good. and stronger emotionally than anyother child his age should be. Kevin I will NEVER forget from hunting deers to always wanting to play more, and never backing down!

Danny... my bundle of energy they say good things come in small packages this boy is nothing but dynamite and always on the go. He never let his size hold him back and was our biggest scorer!!!

Zach...my sweetheart...always kind always sweet and always willing to be to do what is told.

Dylan... you can see the spirit of the Lord in this child..just one that is still so innocent and excited about every experience and ALWAYS had a smile.

Carter... The muscle strong and independent already he will go very far in life.

Tyler... my mature one... This boy has a talent for basketball I can see one day watching him in college but was never once arrogent and always played as a team with every member of his team!

Jordon... what can a parent say about their child when they are coaching them. I expected more out of him than the rest. The funny thing was when I didnt say anything he improved more than anyone on the team.

I am proud of my boys and will never forget the season. They have done wonderful so far being undefeated YET never once did they brag or celebrate after the game. It wasnt my doing it was the simple fact that the boy were just good as a team. Each one brought something different and I have been very blessed to be a part of the program. Will I do it again. UHHMMMM not for sure about that one. But I am proud of them and what they taught me. I could do something that I wasnt wanting to do but what God told me I needed to do!

yucky stuff

So I got this cold. It makes me sound like a two year old when I am talking. Kinda funny stuff. So I really havent done much of anything other than sleep. The one thing I did do was go to Jordon's game. Only one more left, other than that didn't do anything. So I missed church this morning, play practice and quizzing. All I have done is sleep all weekend. So talk about a short short post. I am going to head off to bed after taking some cold meds. Monday start another week, but that is okay I am ready for it, and actually kinda glad to have it be normal.

yep it is monday...

This will definately not be a long post, Mondays are hetic for me. It is the start of the week planning everything for the rest of the week. See, there is my problem I am a planner. I have a plan for everything I do. Even my bills are planned out for the next six months. LAUGHS...now I know why my son's video game collection is in aphalbetical order. He gets it from me! HEH! Just know alot goes on during the week. So going to head to bed early tonight to hopefully have enough energy to get through the rest of the week.

Only two more weeks of upwards left, I'm kinda happy but also kinda sad. What can I say it has been alot more fun than I thought it would be. In two more weeks I can say I have made it through the season... ALIVE! Then only about four more months and football starts. I have already decided not to do the team mom thing again. I really dont have the energy or the time to do so this year, and since I said this wasnt going to be a long post it is of to bed for me.

Yea it is that day

Okay so it is February 14th...the day every single person HATES!!! Well thanks to my little cousin, (okay I shouldnt have called her my little cousin) anyways, she wished many a happy singles awareness day. It is so true! Of all days, One that is not in a relationship is constantly reminded of their "statis", but I take it with a great sense of humor. I am looking for the perfect man, but since they hung him on the cross I guess I am going to be single for awhile. :D No really I am happy in my situation right now. I find it a blessing, for the simple fact. I am growing in the Lord. THAT makes any bout with loneliness worth it, and those are really few and far between. I have the biggest Valentine of all. Jesus! need i say more!

Okay as far as the day...

Jordon monster had his quiz meet today. He actually did pretty well. This is always the hardest meet of the year and He did pretty good. Not as good as he wanted to but He did really good. I love my boy and he does make me proud, except when he gets mouthy or pouty. Normally he is a really good kid. Anyways, the whole quizzing team red level and blue level did an excellent job!

Then went to a family dinner which was nice seen many of my family that I havent seen for years.

After that spent times with some of the teens at church helping with thier flower sale. We had alot of fun actually was really proud of them! They got them done quickly. So now it is off to bed for me, and maybe a good movie...

just a day

Today is just a day. Just a day to work, do homework the son, study for quizzing...was kinda nice to just come home today. There is still alot of studing to do this week for the meet on Saturday. Funny when Jordon brings me the book, mom i really want to study or can we do another lesson. Kinda scares me. (NOT REALLY)

Work is intersting, we have new/old supervisor. She has been a long standing employee and I have always looked to her for answers, and I really respect her. Yea i would have loved to got the position but it wasnt for me to have at this time. God knows that I am to busy to give the position the attention it deserves. I like leaving and knowing my job is done for the day. But i am really tired tonight I am going to head to bed, and be ready for another day tomorrow.

that crazy state of mind

Okay, I offered to work some extra hours this week, causing myself not to have a day off in two and a half weeks. Why? I am still figuring that one out. Yea the extra money is nice but now I am sleepy. I am counting down to the next day off. Life right now is a bit busy. Basketball games, quizzing and the normal church services. But eh if I wasnt busy I would be complaining or rather just not really doing much at all. So I am trying to enjoy the times. Our next quiz meet is comming up quickly. So Jordon and I are doing some extra studing. He wants to do so well. I know what his goal is, but I want him to know I am proud of him no matter what.

Quizzing is such a good program. I have learned more doing it than if I was trying to study on my own. Anyways back to the grind stone of work. Hopefully I will get a day off soon. I want to sleep.

Winterjam

I wish I had a video camera last night, to video tape Jordon. The concert was so much fun. When Toby Mac came on he jumped up and jumped the whole entire time singing along. I think Toby Mac has a fan for life! It was Jordon's first concert and what a concert to go to. Worshiping and praising the Lord. I was so excited for him. I hope He keeps his faith because it is such a strong one. We went with my sister and her boys. I think they are really glad they went to. I think Toby made a fan of my older nephew too. It was awesome.

Barlowgirls were good as well. but I do think my favorite was the guest speaker. It was just an amazing experience. I was glad to see some of the teens from our youth there. I was told that I needed to try Summerfest, guess that will be our next jaunt if it isnt the same time as the world quiz!

Weekend Craziness

Well the weekend is finally here. Only thing is I kinda booked Jordon and myself full. Today I have to work from 8 to 10:30 in Worthington. Next is his game at PNC at 11:30. Then I have to be back at the church for a Devotion. (by the way I love to write them just really do not like to to read them infront of people) Then the Winter Jam concert on campus tonight. THAT I am really excited for. Taking my son to his first concert, and what a concert to go to. I remember the first concert my mom took me to. I was actually a bit younger than Jordon but she took me to see Air Supply. DONT LAUGH!!! But it is a memory I never forgot.

On Sunday of course Sunday morning service. Then I need to make a game of Deal or No Deal for the Quizzers. Then work from "home" from 6 to 10:30 and teach bible quizzing at the same time. So needless to say my weekend is booked already! But that is okay it keeps me busy and actually that is when I am most happy. And I a managing them all pretty well.

"You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be – white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa clause, the tooth fairy, prince charming –they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. "
When I was a little girl I believed it all and slowly one by one it all began to fade until one day there was no more Santa Clause's there were no more Tooth Fairies, and definitely no more Princes. I grew up. I didn't have the white dress when getting married nor did I have everything else that went along with it. I am not jaded or anything I just more of a realist.
Okay lets rewind...fresh out of high school, ready for college I had the world at my feet and I thought for sure I would be something great. A GREAT Business woman, living in a high rise and honestly in love with the perfect man. Okay so, none of that has happen is my life terrible? FAR FROM IT. I am a single mom, kinda proud of that fact not so fact that my marriage failed but more so that I am able to raise a very well behaved, loving child. I just started a new job where I really enjoy it. I can tell it is going to be very challenging yet I will enjoy every second of it. Are you kidding? Learning something new everyday. How can I complain? I don't have a terrible life in the least just not what I expected.
Every time I have ever started falling for someone it has been head over heels don't look back and JUMP with both feet. What happens? Every time I get shown that it isn't what I thought it would be. Well to be honest the next time it wont be that way. kinda like when you are on the beach(even though I haven't been there) you get a little wet then slowly move forward that is what I want something that I can grow into. Someone I can grow with.
Not just jump in and say okay here we are, and it is to late to turn back now. I really been wondering lately if there is something wrong with that, is it just me or is it really that the WHOLE world is rush rush rush. We rush into marriage, we rush into divorce. We rush to have kids and then want to rush them to grow up. What is wrong with taking our time and enjoying the things around us. I find myself telling Jordon that alot lately don't be in such a rush to grow up. He is always asking what age do I have to be to do this or that? With the snow today we did go out and play for a little bit after shoveling the snow.
Anyways maybe that is just the fairytale thing coming back to me. Maybe I am still looking for the prince charming to come and sweep me off my feet. Maybe I am not so much of a realist after all maybe I have a good mixture of dreamer and realist I know what is real but I still wish for that perfect life. And just maybe....


"It’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after – just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, people may even take your breath away. "

Again quotes comming from Grey's

Growing up

"After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just we think life and circumstances have forced us truly to become an adult, your mother says something like that. Or worse, something like that. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in. "

Do you feel like this, at the work place do you try to find someone to fit in with. At church do you try to fit in with the another group? Even at work we are trying to fit in. We are trying to make sure that we please everyone. Well guess what you cant please everyone all the time, and when you keep trying then you are not pleasing yourself. We all try to fit into certain frames. Well that is what i want to break out of I want to be my own person. I don't want to feel the need to fit into someones frame of what I should be. Maybe that is why I enjoy life so much. I don't hold myself to someone Else's standards because when I do I get all upset.

I am told I am not supposed to like this person or that person. I am told I am to hold grudges well guess what I don't. I am not that type of person. I can not think of one person I hate, for the simple fact hate is an emotion so close to love that the lines sometimes get blurred. Yes there are people that agitate me. As well as I see people that just make me think, what in the world are they doing. I was never a bully or part of the perfect click. I have always just been me. Different in so many ways it isn't funny, wait it may be funny when you look at it.

Yea on the outside I may be the same as every other person walking down the street. I wear the clothes that are in style but on the inside I am a lot different. I think differently why hold a grudge against someone when all it does cause yourself misery. I much rather be happy and relaxed than when you see someone that has hurt you or disappointed you and you hold that grudge it makes your inside all queasy. Now why in the world would I want to do that. I would rather move on and laugh about it.

There are people I don't care to associate with and those people I just don't speak to. I don't throw insults because they will just know that they have gotten under your skin. Guess what I don't let many do that. My friends, yes I can be hurt by them but then they are my friends I would rather hear the truth from them even if they feel I am acting like an idiot. Hey that is what friends do they praise you when you are right or call you down when you are wrong. Yet so many times we just want the rose colored version of life. We have refused to grow up!!! and further more....

"I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."

Quotations from Grey's Anatomy...no wonder i love this show

finding blessings even in sickness

Okay I have felt miserable today... stomach cramps and headache. Oh YEA so much fun. So anyways started the day off by trying to go to work, was only there for 1 1/2 hours my stomach hurt so much it was hard to take phone calls. So where does the blessings come in. Well I came home and curled up in bed, something I hardly ever really get to do. There was a movie on I have been wanting to see for a long time. So I watched it and in the end of the movie says. If you are always alone, then doesnt that mean that everyone is alone together. Well I kinda had to laugh been fighting that feeling alot the last couple of months. The alone thing. The thing is I have been really trying to remember that with Jesus we are never alone, He is always there not matter what even when we dont think He is He is always there. Got to love it. Even laying down stomach upset and head pounding God is there for me. So there is my blessing for the day.

I am a first time mom and letting go has not been a very easy task for me. I fear the unknown. Each time my son has entered a new stage of life I cringe. Fear of hurts and disappointments seeing that disappointed look on the face of my son. The fear of peer pressure and outside influences in my child's life scares me to no end. Will he be strong enough in His faith to stand against what he knows it not right, will he make wise choices?
Then I get this horrible sense of inadequacy. Am I a good Mother? Did I arm him with enough knowledge that their own decisions would always have consequences? Did I help make him secure enough in himself that he would be able to handle disappointments? Enough sense to walk away from a situation that can only land him in trouble? Then I was stopped short in my tracks… wasn't it God that trusted this child to my hands to be raised the way HE wanted Him to be.
In the Old Testament we read how important children are. When women couldn't have children they felt defeated. Hannah for example couldn't eat because she was so grief stricken not having a child. There are so many joys of having a child.
The Joy of birth. Yes, there is the pain of the birth, but once you hold that child in your arms it is completely forgotten. To see that tiny bundle curled up in your arms and the complete dependency that child has on you.
John 16:21 (New International Version)
21A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.
Second is the pride and delight of a child's development.
Ever talked to a new First time mother, when their child takes that first step or says their first word to them it is a miracle. When you hear a child laughs or performing in their first play. The first day of school okay that wasn't a good thing for me I cried the whole way to work after watching him get on the bus. The first project they did on their own and the first honor roll grade card, and even when they do very well in sports. I am sure I will see many more along the way. As mothers we get so excited and can't help be a bit prideful when we see our children succeed.
The wonder we seen when we look threw a child's eyes.
Coloring their first picture or any new experience. When they look at bugs, flowers or even clouds they are simply amazed. Sometimes we forget what it is like to lay on our backs and look up at the clouds and see different shapes. Try doing that with your child, not only is it quality time with your child but it is very relaxing. How about way they see the sights and sounds around them from Christmas time to the first time they bring home those all so wonderful bouquet of "God's flowers." Dandelions.
Another blessing is being used by God to comfort.
From the first boo boo's and scraped knees to helping them through the first disappointment when someone doesn't like them just because of them. Next comes the disappointments of not making the team to their first heartbreak. And the first time for you finding the experience of God answering your plea for the perfect words of wisdom and comfort at the right time.
Finally, has anyone ever thought that God is using our children as a way to develop us?
To most mothers and father, parenting is a total commitment, from the very beginning being up in the middle of the night, all the way to the first time they are out on their own. Through being a parent God teach us about patience, wisdom, will power, and most importantly unconditional love. Every day we have the chance to plant tiny seeds to help them grow into good people and loving Christians. It is up to us to teach perseverance, compassion, and understanding.
When you are about to give up hope and unsure about your choices as parents? Don't!!! Your children they are a gift from God. God gave them to you and he hasn't ever given up on you. The funny thing is when you least expect it you will see those children, you think are not listening, actually using what you have taught them and make the wisest of choices.

happy vs. joy

Happy, 1) delighted, pleased , or glad

Joy 1) the emotion of great delight caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
Pretty much the saym right. WRONG...
Happiness is the pursuit of material objects, new cars, homes or even relationships. Lets think about it... How long does happiness stick around when we are happy about a new object, a day, a week. If we are in a relationship and we are using that relationship to help us with happiness then how long does it take to go sour. We find faults and misgivings about the people we supposively adore. We should be looking at ourselves, happiness is not something that sticks. That is joy.
Joy is the inner feeling when even bad things happy you can still smile. You dont lose the joy. Joy is the ability to be content in all circumstances. Joy is knowing the world around you is falling but you can still manage to move about with a smile on your face. It is a calmness and steadiness in troubled times. Joy is constinant and always there.
I am on that path where I finding joy not just happiness. I am not worried about what is going on around me, I am finding a peace and understanding to where I am joyful. I love that feeling. Here are a few of the things I was told that would help me and thought I would pass them along.
1) prayer or meditation which ever you prefer or your religious beliefs... mine are truely prayer it is a comfort for me to know that is always someone there to listen to me.
2) Try to see the good in yourself and others around you.
3) Forgive yourself of pass mistakes and forgive others.
4) Let go of hurts and hardships around you. In the end everything will work itself out.
5) Try to focus more on the positive rather than focusing on the negative.

Life at this point

Okay so it has been awhile since I have just sat down and started to write to fill everyone in on what is going on in my corner of the world. Where do I start???
Lets see I will start with the little man... my pride and joy. The sparkle in my eye. Yea I know I can go a bit over board about him, but hey I am proud of my little man. He is doing really well in school. He played football this year :D He did really good for his first year. His coach said he was the most managable child to coach. He is also doing bible quizzing again. The last quiz meet he placed 2nd. So I was VERY proud. Not just because of His achievements but he really is a good kid. Alot of times I forget that and come down a bit to hard on him, but that is part of being a single mom. Sometimes you have to do those things.
Lets see what else. This Summer I am heading to Florida. Wooo Hoooo Jordon is really excited to see the ocean as well as I am. I am coaching again this year red level bible quizzers. It still suprises me how much this children know. They are so much like sponges they soak every thing up. I have taken on alot more responsibilities at work, keep thinking bigger raise bigger raise. LAUGHS.
My family is doing well so all in all I am very blessed. I love my job and have LOTS to look forward to. I dont get to see my friends alot but I love you all very much and you all are always in my prayers. Maybe next time I will write something just a bit more exciting LAUGHS. BIG HUGS!!!!!